NAVIGATING DIVERSE CONTENT IN WHITE SPACES

My first post of the new year was supposed to be a Reel of the week. But I find myself once again giving voice to these EXTRA trying times for Black & NBPOC. My next post will be a movie review...I hope...
I try my hardest to attend and support events featuring Black People & NBPOC, including, Concerts, lectures, Art exhibits, book discussions , movies etc. When these events take place in white spaces, they take on the burden of trying to navigate these spaces with a minimum of stress and code-switching.

Inevitably white people who attend these events consider themselves to be allies, "woke" and liberal in their feelings for POC. So, they spend a lot of time burdening POC with "proof" of their tolerance. Leaving POC feeling stressed, uncomfortable and unable to fully be themselves and enjoy the feeling of seeing ourselves in Art & Culture.
By white spaces, I mean places that are predominantly run by white people or spaces that are for everyone, but lack diversity in content & staff.

Living in a very white state, it's almost a daily occurrence. I could fill a luggage suite with white space fuckery.

Going to movies featuring a predominantly Black or NBPOC cast are particularly problematic. I can't get in the door without some kind of "woke" wp encounter. My husband and I went to the movies and decided to see "Black & Blue instead of "Harriet Tubman". We were waiting in line when a random white man came up to us and asked if we were seeing "Harriet Tubman". I remained silent, my husband said "No". The man told me how he lamented the subject matter, but how important it was to see..blah, blah. I tuned out. He noticed my silence and pointed to a pin I was wearing and said "Is that for me?" I gave him heavy side-eye and moved on. My pin says "Fuck you, you fuckin' fuck" 

When I went to see "Black Klansman" the entire audience was white. Warning lights went off, but dammit I had paid, so I persevered. My personal space was inundated with "sympathetic" nods, unsolicited commiserating and strange stares when I was the only one who laughed during a particular bit of dialogue (Black Humor). The worst part was the scene in which Harry Belafonte was recounting the history of a lynching. A white woman began wailing at the top of her lungs....yes, Becky we get it...you're having a feeling.

I am a member of our Local Art museum, yet every time I go to the museum, the staff treats me like I have no idea what a museum is...(That's a whole other thing).
When there is an exhibit or lecture featuring a Black person on NBPOC, inevitably some random white woman (It is always a white woman) comes up to me and asks me if I have seen so & so's (insert name of Black person or NBPOC) exhibit, lecture film etc and how wonderful it is. Bitch please. I have never been approached and asked what I think of Monet or Winslow Homer, ever.

A few months ago I attended a lecture featuring a Passamaquoddy Basket Weaver. The audience was 99% older white people. They literally sucked all available air from the room. Moving chairs that had been preset to avoid jostling other exhibits, complaining the whole time. One white woman asked me to move because she wasn't close enough (You know how that ended). It was a mess. Whenever the artist took a question, it was preceded by the person expounding on their vast knowledge of all things Native American. I left early...
Music Concerts featuring Black & NBPOC are also draining. If the featured Artist saves space or makes sure POC are first, white people get all up in their feelings. I attended a "Tribe called Red" concert. They allowed Native Americans & POC to ask questions first, take photos with the band. Oh, the cacophony of white whining was deafening. 

Navigating "white spaces" is stressful enough without having to run a gauntlet of "white feelings". Make space for Black People & NBPOC to attend events featuring Black or NBPOC content. Even if it means giving up your need to be the center of attention. Let us sally forth without being accosted by your need to be validated for being "woke". We don't owe you  conversation, knowledge or explanation. Also Code-Switching on my down time is a pain in the ass.